The left pt 2.

This statement, along with so many he’s made through our five year courtship and ten year marriage strengthened my trust in him. He’d watched his Mom self destruct after his Dad left, just as I had watch my beautiful, intelligent father fold inside of himself for over a year. We were like mirror images of the same person. Even into the early years of our marriage we were both highly protective of our parents. We didn’t dare say anything derogatory or unsavory about the wronged half of our parental duos.
We acknowledged this to each other laughingly, the oldest of our siblings, he had two and I had one, we felt a responsibility than was unnecessary but part of us nonetheless. Abruptly we stopped this when we had our daughter. We had someone else to protect. Not only Sadie, but ourselves.
We decided together to put our pasts behind us. Sadie wouldn’t know how insecure we were, Sadie would only know how much we loved each other and her. Sadie would never watch a car drive away knowing it might not come back for weeks or months at a time. Sadie would never, ever know the pain we had both suffered. Without uttering a word, we both agreed to this. I would do anything, anything to not have my child wake up crying in the middle of the night because of me.
I didn’t count on stretching this promise to its limit, and watching it rebound in my face like a rubber band. I didn’t count on Sean changing his mind. I didn’t count on it, I didn’t expect it, and I certainly didn’t know how to deal with it. Sometimes, when you are one of the left, you can still become comfortable and complacent. Those are the times you have to watch out for.


I was making lasagna when my life changed. It’s funny how you remember things like that. The noodles were greasy in my hands as I packed them into a casserole dish, while Sadie baked in her tiny tots kitchen to my left. When the phone rang, I considered screening, but as rare as sales calls were, I took my chances.